Kenshin's New Self
by the 4w5 neko
Summary: A young idealist becomes a ruthless killer. You guys know what I'm talking about.


I don't own these characters or make any money from this fan fic. Watsuki Nobuhiro is the creator; think what you will of him, he is a creative genius.

Gomen (sorry) for not knowing much about Japan: its language, culture or history. I did a little research but didn't find many resources. I figure people have already written this kind of story, but I hope mine isn't bad.

Leaving Hiko: Summer 1863

It took all night, but Kenshin made his way down the mountain, his anger propelling him onward. Fourteen years old and full of idealism, he didn't consider returning to Hiko.

"Nothing will get done just training on that mountain," Kenshin muttered under his breath. "Stupid Shishou. No, he's not my Shishou anymore."

Hiko was a foolish old man. Kenshin had heard enough about the evils of the Shogunate's Bakufu government that he _had_ to take action. Wasn't it the Bakufu's fault that his family had been poor and his parents died of cholera, that he had been sold to the slavers and that bandits were rampant all over the countryside? The foreigners had brought cholera with them.

If Kenshin let himself think about it (and he really preferred not to), he had hazy and disturbing memories: his family dying, the slavers molesting him, burying those bodies…

But Kenshin refused to acknowledge the importance of that past. Forget all that. Fight for justice; that was what he planned to do. He knew that the Bakufu was causing all kinds of misery for innocent people right now. Hiko couldn't keep him 100% in the dark. He had heard things when he went to the market.

Kenshin knew that the Shogun was weak against foreigners; Japan had to expel the barbarians; and the Emperor was the rightful ruler.

The Imperialist patriots (Ishin Shishi) were fighting the Shogun's samurai, including the formidable Shinsengumi. Kenshin had heard of a place in Hagi for Choshu recruits, the men being called the Kiheitai, the volunteer militia. All he had to do was find his way there.

Hiko had tried to steal Kenshin's sheathed sword from him, but Kenshin had been too fast and angry. He had hit Hiko with it as hard as he could. Of course, Hiko was a swords master, so he didn't really get hurt, but his pride had been injured as his plan was thwarted.

The fight between Hiko and Kenshin had lasted for over an hour. Hiko had finally challenged Kenshin to beat him before leaving. Kenshin had smacked Hiko with his sword; the argument commenced for a few more insults and angry words. Then Kenshin had just left in a fury.

Kenshin touched the hilt of his sword to reassure himself it was still there. Kenshin smiled at how it didn't feel too heavy, despite his small frame.

He was at the bottom of the mountain, and exhilarated. The stars had shown bright in the sky that night. He was bone-tired but too excited to sleep. Besides, where would he go?

Where indeed? Concerns entered Kenshin's mind. It might take a while to get to the Kiheitai. What would he do to get food? He supposed he could steal some, but a righteous hero wouldn't do that.

One step at a time, Kenshin told himself. Worry about things when they come. For now, he would head for Kyoto and look for his future comrades.

A village was ahead. Kenshin saw plain, shabby homes and places of business. He wasn't afraid of other people. Hiko had trained him very well, he could defend himself. A strange part of him even wanted a challenge. But he didn't want to associate with anyone in this village if he didn't have to.

It was morning and the village was just awakening.

An older woman came out of her house and saw Kenshin.

"Are you lost, young man?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. I'm on my way to Hagi."

"Where is your family?" she called.

Kenshin ignored her, walking faster. Did he look that childish?

He had some idea of his location and the general direction to take to Hagi.

Kenshin was glad that the lady didn't follow him. He made his way through the village, but after an hour, he felt both tired and hungry.

Kenshin knew from experience that it was dangerous to trust people. But he noticed an inn that appeared to be run by a middle-aged woman. She looked kind.

Kenshin steeled himself and went up to her. "Excuse me. I don't have any money. If I do some chores, will you let me stay here?" he asked, his voice cracking as it often did.

"Oh, young man! Are you away from your family?" she asked with concern.

"I'm an adult," Kenshin said angrily. Well, one year away. At fifteen, a boy could become a samurai.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "You just look young."

Kenshin hoped that the men of the Kiheitai wouldn't see him that way.

"Well, I suppose you could help me with a few things," the lady said.

"Thanks," Kenshin said.

After doing some chores for the inn, Kenshin sat down on the kitchen floor. He was so exhausted that he fell asleep right there. He awoke a few hours later, his heart hammering. It took a minute for him to remember where he was.

It was a hot summer day and he was sweaty. _I left my ex-Shishou_ , he remembered. _I'm going to join the Kiheitai_. Kenshin had come from an insignificant family, so he would not be called a samurai. But he could learn to live the ways of Mitoism.

A frequent fantasy entered Kenshin's mind. He was dressed like a samurai. He had two swords, one short and one long. He would kill evil men who were in the way of a necessary revolution. What would it be like to kill someone? Would it be hard? Would it be more triumphant, the divine punishment of tenchuu being cast?

That night, Kenshin gratefully accepted a small meal, and then continued on his journey. For some reason, he felt more alive at night. Best not to fall asleep unless it was absolutely needed. Another starry night sky. Kenshin nodded to himself. He recalled all those many days of training and drew his sword as fast as he could to strike a nearby tree. Hiten-Mitsurugi-ryuu was all about speed. Was he really ready for this? Surely, after five years with Hiko, the strongest swordsman around, he could take on an enemy. Kenshin pulled his sword back and sheathed it. Yes, he felt ready.

Hiko Left Behind

Hiko Seijurou the 13th didn't believe in regrets. Yet an obvious one was staring him right in the face. Maybe he had really blown it by choosing Kenshin nee Shinta to be his deshi. Maybe he should've sent Kenshin away after witnessing all of his nightmares. Too damaged. But Hiko had believed in Kenshin.

At first, Kenshin had been shy. Hiko had wondered if he should've recruited a more extroverted pupil. But Kenshin came out of his shell and learned with amazing rapidity.

At Kenshin's age of nine, Hiko had also been a deshi, to the previous Hiko Seijurou. Hiko had been much more mature-looking and arrogant but he and Kenshin had some attributes in common. They both were determined to become great swordsmen. They both never gave up.

Having a deshi like Kenshin had had its good points. Kenshin did chores without questioning Hiko. He was dutiful at first. Of course, that may have been because Kenshin was afraid of his new Shishou; whichever way it worked for Hiko.

Hiko had wrongly assumed that Kenshin would be like himself. When Hiko had been a teenager, he had had some confrontations with his Shishou, but Hiko Seijurou the 12th had always brought him around to reason.

Kenshin, on the other hand, became simply contrary. Opposite of how he was as a child, he started complaining a lot and sharing the "wisdom" he gained from his trips into town. He started touting idealistic notions of ridding Japan of the Barbarians and restoring the emperor to power. But most of all, he complained that he wanted to use Hiten Mitsurugi-ryuu to help people; the two of them were just wasting time on the mountain.

Hiko had a bad feeling that Kenshin would end up committing crimes that had nothing to do with helping people.

Kenshin is Discovered

The next day, Kenshin found himself in Hagi, the capital of Choshu. He wandered around until he emerged into a big field, full of men with swords showing their stuff. This had to be it!

Kenshin was much smaller than any of these men. He told himself to not let his nerves show. Stay calm.

"Hah! A kid carrying a sword like a man!" Kenshin turned to face an ugly man wearing a yellow and black shirt. Kenshin carefully kept his expression blank and moved on.

"All right. Show us something, anything you can do." A challenge from the ugly man.

Kenshin approached a wood training manikin. Another man said: "If you split it in two, I'll give you one ryo!"

Keeping his blank expression, Kenshin pulled out his sword and easily sliced the manikin in two. Hiten Mitsurugi-ryuu: Souryusen (Twin Dragon Strike.) One of Hiko's favorite moves.

 _I did it!_ Kenshin thought. Instead of acting excited though, he simply turned to the man who had challenged him, held out his hand, and said: "One ryo."

"Huh?" the man said, seemingly shocked.

"Didn't I earn one ryo?" Kenshin asked.

Suddenly the men were parting as a man with strong ki headed right for Kenshin. Kenshin wondered what was next.

"It's Takasugi-san," the men murmured.

"What is your name, young man?" Takasugi asked Kenshin.

"Kenshin," he said, embarrassed that he didn't have a last name.

"Kenshin. Heart of a sword. Good name for a swordsman. How old are you, Kenshin?"

"Well," Kenshin muttered, debating whether he should lie or not. "Fourteen."

"Almost a man. Katsura-san will be pleased."

Kenshin knew who these men were; who didn't? Leaders of the Choshu Ishin Shishi.

"Kenshin, Katsura-san wants to meet you. Let's go."

Kenshin felt like he was walking on clouds as he followed Takasugi. Just because of splitting that manikin?

"I never got my ryo," he shot at the man who had challenged him as they passed him.

"Damn kid," the man just muttered.

Takasugi led Kenshin to a lodge of sorts.

Katsura Kogoro stood and greeted them. He introduced himself. He asked the same questions, got the same answers: Kenshin, age fourteen.

"Was Kenshin the name your family gave you?" Katsura asked.

"No." Oh how Kenshin wished he could just forget everything that had happened when he was "Shinta."

"Well, it's a fine name, but we may have to do something about it being so short. Anyway, I digress. Let's all sit down."

Katsura and Kenshin sat facing each other, Takasugi to the side. Katsura offered Kenshin some hot tea.

Kenshin took it and drank.

"So, Kenshin, what style of kenjutsu do you use?" Katsura asked.

"Hiten Mitsurugi-ryuu," Kenshin replied. "It's an old style."

Kenshin felt like he was flying. Some "kid" he was! Attracting their attention so quickly!

"Hm. So that's Hiten Mitsurugi-ryuu. I've heard about it but I didn't know it really existed."

"Let me ask you a question. Have you ever used Hiten Mitsurugi-ryuu to kill anyone?" Katsura asked, his eyebrow raised.

"No," Kenshin said honestly. Was he being recruited right here and now?

"Then, can you?" Katsura asked, looking Kenshin in the eyes.

Kenshin felt put on the spot.

He knew that there was nothing immoral about killing evil men. Besides, if at the end of this conflict, peace came, wouldn't it be all worth it?

Kenshin put his cup down and spoke: "If when I finally lay down my blood-stained blade, there truly is an era of peace, then… Yes."

"I understand. We will head for Kyoto first thing tomorrow morning. Get some rest upstairs tonight."

"Yes," Kenshin said. "I... do you mind if I step outside for a moment, Katsura-san?"

"Go ahead."

Kenshin went outside. It was night again. He took some deep breaths. Were they going to make him a samurai in Kyoto? All his dreams might come true. Was it luck or did he deserve this?

Katsura joined Kenshin. "Kenshin, are you from a village?"

"Yes," Kenshin said. Why explain everything?

"And with your auburn hair… How would you like to be Himura Kenshin from now on?"

Kenshin liked it. "Sure," he said. There were many things he wanted to know, but he didn't know how to ask. Like: how could they determine so much from one attack on a manikin? _I must be really good_ , Kenshin realized. It was such an amazing sensation, feeling proud like this. Kenshin was accustomed to shame, not pride.

"Let's go back in and get some sleep," Katsura said.

Kenshin bit his lip and went back inside. Upstairs, there was a futon with a blanket and pillow. It looked really inviting. Kenshin lay down, sure he'd fall asleep immediately. But he didn't. Part of him was scared: what if Katsura wasn't impressed with him the next time? What if they sent him back, laughing at how such a little kid could have such nerve?

Kenshin sat up, grabbing his sword. What was that noise outside? He sat in the dark, listening. Nothing suspicious.

Kenshin lay back down, still holding his sword. Soon, he would have two swords, like a proper samurai. He finally slept, restlessly, like always.

Kenshin in Kyoto

Kyoto amazed Kenshin. A huge city! And samurai everywhere.

As Kenshin tried not to stare at a group of swordsmen in blue shirts, Katsura whispered to him: "The Shinsengumi."

Oh. The enemy. Kenshin looked at Katsura. _This must be a really dangerous city_ , Kenshin realized.

"You will be staying at the Kohagiya Inn," Katsura said. "But now, I'm taking you to headquarters. I want to see your skill again."

Kenshin's heart started pounding, though he did all he could not to let it show. He stayed calm, steady.

On the way to headquarters, Katsura and Kenshin conversed about the Bakufu.

"So, Himura, you know we're up against a great evil, right?"

"Yes," Kenshin said. "We need to expel the Barbarians and restore the emperor."

"We must do everything we can to achieve those aims."

"Yes," Kenshin said, feeling a lot older than he was.

Katsura was even more impressed after watching Kenshin spar with a lower samurai. Kenshin could tell, even though Katsura maintained a neutral expression.

"Very good," Katsura said, a slight smile on his lips. "Now, before you get your first assignment, we need to get you suited up."

In a matter of days, Kenshin had a new outfit, featuring two swords. He quickly learned how to fight with the new addition.

Katsura introduced Kenshin to the other men in their faction, staying at the Kohagiya Inn. One man, with a thin mustache, I'Izuka, laughed at Kenshin the moment Katsura left the room.

"What can this girly boy do?" I'Izuka asked a skinny man named Hibiki. They snickered.

Kenshin ignored them, his face stony. He hated the way he looked, but they couldn't know that.

Katsura came back in. "Himura, let's talk about your first assignment." He led Kenshin into a private room.

Kenshin didn't know what to expect. But he was mightily excited.

"There is an man named Hitsui Naoie who colluded with others to commit acts of evil," Katsura said. "Can you kill him tonight? I'll tell you where sources say he'll be."

Acts of evil. Killing people to make a new age.

"Yes," Kenshin said. "I suppose someone should do it."

"Himura, do you know about tenchuu?"

"Yes. Divine punishment."

"Do you agree with it?"

"Yes," Kenshin said, thinking about how evil the Bakufu was. He had an idea. "Maybe I should leave a note that says "Tenchuu" on it. Haven't others done that?"

"Yes," Katsura said. "If you'd like."

Katsura gave Kenshin more details on his assignment. Where the target would be, what he looked like. "I'll also give you a bodyguard, since this is your first assignment. You can trust Chiba."

It was still late afternoon.

"Maybe you should get some rest first," Katsura said.

"No, I would rather practice," Kenshin said.

"That's fine," Katsura said, smiling. "I'll find someone to spar with you."

Kenshin was very serious that day. He was nervous, but would never let anyone know it.

The First Time

Chiba was a young-ish man with a strong body and a charming personality. He wasn't handsome like Katsura, but he had an aura that was appealing.

"I'll tell you something important," Chiba said as he and Kenshin ate dinner together. "When you kill someone, don't think of them as a person. They are only a target. And that's how these pathetic, evil men should be treated. The Bakufu has oppressed people for far too long."

Kenshin nodded thoughtfully. Evil. There was something right about ridding the world of evil. _I can do it_ , he thought. _I'll prove to myself that I can be a samurai. I will help the righteous to bring a better era. It will be worth it when peace comes._

Suddenly, he didn't feel quite like himself. It was like a separation somehow.

All he wanted to do was kill Hitsui Naoie.

It was time for "tenchuu."

Even though Kenshin had only eaten half his dinner, he wasn't hungry anymore. He felt antsy.

Chiba noticed Kenshin's restlessness.

"The first time can be unsettling," Chiba said. "Especially for someone as young as you. I was twenty when I first killed."

"I'm not nervous," Kenshin lied. "I'm just feeling impatient."

"Okay, but don't let that interfere tonight. You have to have nerves of steel."

"Yes," Kenshin said. He could do that, this new Himura Kenshin.

A few hours later, Kenshin and Chiba stood waiting in a dark alley. The sky was dark except for the stars. There were lanterns here and there, but Kenshin and Chiba were hidden.

Suddenly, Kenshin recalled his parents dying of cholera.

 _If the Barbarians hadn't come, I could've stayed with my family_ , Kenshin thought. _Everything would've been different. Now it is time to punish the wicked_.

"Hey," Chiba muttered.

"It's nothing," Kenshin said. He slapped himself on the face. _Calm, nerves of steel. I can do it, I can do it._

"You're not losing your nerve, are you?" Chiba whispered.

Kenshin closed his eyes and felt himself releasing the Kenshin who was saddened when he saw dead animals on the mountain. _That me has no use here_ , he thought.

"Pay attention, he's here," Chiba said quietly.

Kenshin looked onto the street. There was Hitsui Naoie. An evil that needed to be destroyed.

Hitsui sensed he was being watched. _How foolish of him to be alone_ , Kenshin thought. This might be easier than he'd anticipated.

"Who goes there?" Hitsui spoke, his hand of his sword's hilt.

Kenshin stepped forward but didn't introduce himself. "You must die for the new era," he said, feeling removed again.

"Go!" Chiba prompted.

Hitsui drew his sword, but Kenshin was much faster. "Souryusen!" and Hitsui was cut down that easily. Kenshin plunged his sword all the way into his target.

The new Himura watched disinterestedly as Hitsui died. "Tenchuu," he said, removing his sword and placing the note next to the body.

"Congratulations," Chiba said, a look of utter amazement on his face. "You sure are fast."

"It was how I was trained," Kenshin said simply. A faint voice in the back of his mind said: "Are you sure this is who you want to be?"

"Yes," a clearer voice spoke. "Eliminating the enemy. For a better era."

He didn't really feel happy or excited, just resigned. He could do that again.

"Hurry, let's go back," Chiba said.

Kenshin ran all the way back to the inn, ducking into corners when people were heading his way. No one caught him. _Did I murder someone? No, I eliminated an enemy. I did the right thing._

And the new Himura believed this.

The Murdering Sword Drawer

Kenshin was sorry to see Chiba leave for Edo, but it was on a mission that couldn't be avoided. Kenshin didn't have any friends now.

Katsura seemed quite pleased with how Kenshin dealt with Hitsui.

"So, Himura, Chiba says it happened so fast he almost didn't see it."

"Yes," Kenshin said. He kept his face blank, a habit he had picked up since being discovered in Hagi.

"Can you do it again?"

"Yes," Kenshin said mechanically.

"All right then. I'll give you your next assignment."

Kenshin went alone the next night. He eliminated his target and left his note behind. He felt nothing.

And it just got easier and easier. He liked being alone in the night, dispensing justice, then coming back to the inn, to increasingly impressed cohorts.

Hibiki and I'Izuka became friendlier, as they all did. But Kenshin didn't want to have anything to do with them. They were loud and obnoxious and womanizers. Kenshin just wanted to be left alone, except with occasional visits with Katsura.

Somewhere along the line, as Kenshin's kills increased by the dozens, he got yet another name: "Battousai." It meant "sword drawer." Kenshin liked this new name and began to introduce himself to his targets as "Himura Battousai."

I'Izuka added the term "Hitokiri"; a sophisticated term for a murderer. Kenshin started gaining notoriety as "Hitokiri Battousai."

Kenshin tried not to think much. He found himself washing his hands frequently and sometimes he had headaches. He didn't sleep very often. _It's all for the new era_ , he told himself when he had moments of doubt.

Kenshin was living like an adult, drinking sake and staying up all night. He didn't like sake as much as Hiko had, that was for sure. Yet it did have a numbing appeal.

Kenshin's fellow Ishin Shishi were mightily impressed by him. He was faster than any of them, and was quickly more prolific. Most amazingly of all, he never sustained injuries.

Kenshin didn't really care whether they liked him or not. He just wanted to do what he had to to bring the new era.

Although Kenshin wanted an era of peace and equality to come, he didn't even understand what that would look like. He was a foolish young idealist; an avenging angel of death.

Fall of 1863

"So Choshu have this assassin called Hitokiri Battousai," a man said to his friend at the market.

"Really? Who did he kill?" the friend asked.

"I heard he just kills and kills every night," the first man said.

Hiko Seijurou heard this conversation. "Can you describe this man?" he interrupted.

"I heard he's just some kid from nowhere," the first man replied, shrugging. "With weird reddish hair."

Hiko sighed mightily. For some reason, he wasn't surprised. He bought what he needed and went home to get drunk.


End file.
